How Do I Know If I’m Actually Getting Better?

Jennifer Dillman
2 days ago
3 min read

This is one of the most common—and most honest—questions I hear.

Because when you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or low motivation, progress doesn’t always look dramatic. There’s no clear finish line. No moment where everything suddenly feels “fixed.”

Instead, people often say:

“I think I’m better… but I’m not sure.”
“Nothing is worse, but nothing is amazing either.”
“I still have symptoms, so does that mean this isn’t working?”

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re truly improving—or just getting used to how you feel—this post is for you.

This article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat mental health conditions. I am not a licensed medical or mental health provider. If you are experiencing severe, persistent, or worsening symptoms, please seek care from a qualified healthcare professional.

Why Progress Can Be Hard to See

Anxiety, depression, and low motivation often improve from the inside out.

That means:

Capacity returns before confidence
Neutral replaces miserable before joy returns
Resistance softens before motivation shows up
Recovery improves before stress disappears

If you’re only looking for the absence of symptoms, you might miss real healing that’s already happening.

A Better Question Than “Are My Symptoms Gone?”

Instead of asking:

“Do I still feel anxious / depressed / unmotivated?”

Try asking:

“How does my system recover now compared to before?”

Healing is less about whether symptoms ever appear—and more about how long they last, how intense they are, and how much they cost you afterward.

Signs You’re Getting Better (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It Yet)

Here are some quiet, meaningful indicators that often show up first.

1. You Recover Faster After Stress

Anxiety passes more quickly
You don’t spiral as deeply
You bounce back with less effort

This reflects improved nervous system regulation.

2. Neutral Days Are Replacing Bad Days

Not amazing. Not joyful.

Just… okay.

Neutral is a huge step forward when your system has been overwhelmed or depleted.

3. Tasks Feel Less Heavy

You may not feel motivated—but:

Starting takes less effort
You dread things less
You negotiate with yourself less

That’s capacity returning.

4. Your Sleep Supports You More

Even if sleep isn’t perfect:

You fall asleep more easily
You wake up less wired
One bad night doesn’t ruin the whole next day

Sleep resilience matters more than sleep perfection.

5. Your Body Feels Safer

This might show up as:

Less jaw clenching or chest tightness
Deeper breathing without effort
Less reactivity to noise, stress, or stimulation

These are signs your nervous system is settling.

6. You Want to Want Things Again

This is subtle—but powerful.

Interest often returns before motivation.

Curiosity returns before joy.

Desire returns before action.

If you’ve noticed even a flicker of this, it counts.

Why “Still Having Symptoms” Doesn’t Mean Failure

Let’s tie this back to the earlier posts:

Anxiety isn’t the enemy—it’s a signal.Progress means it resolves faster and feels less urgent.
Depression isn’t just sadness—it’s often low energy.Progress means capacity returns before happiness does.
Low motivation isn’t a character flaw—it’s a resource issue.Progress means resistance decreases before drive reappears.

When you know what to look for, you stop dismissing real improvement.

A Simple Weekly Check-In You Can Use

Once a week, ask yourself:

Do I recover faster than I used to?
Does daily life take slightly less out of me?
Am I more stable—even if not “better” yet?
Do I feel less stuck in survival mode?

These questions measure regulation, not perfection.

A Final Reframe to Hold Onto

Healing rarely announces itself.

It whispers.

It accumulates.

It shows up as less effort, not more excitement.

If your system is calmer, more resilient, and less depleted than it was before—even on hard days—you are not stuck.

You’re rebuilding.

And that’s real progress.